Yet it is possible to become skilled at this, by exploring how to bring the qualities of mindfulness into our interactions. Like mindfulness on the pillow, the principles are simple – and that’s a good thing, because interpersonal contact is complex enough.
It starts with being present: aware of our own mental and physical state of being and our needs. Pausing helps with this, and then we often discover that it is possible to communicate more mindfully. This can make an immediate difference. We know that every action, every word, every sentence, every look carries through into our relationships – sometimes minimally, sometimes in such a way that we or the other person derive (unnecessary) beliefs or behaviors from them. It is therefore valuable to develop further in this, for ourselves, our relationships and, as big as it sounds, society as a whole.
Hungarian author Frigyes Karinthy coined the concept of “six degrees of separation” in 1927: every person on earth is connected to another through a network of six levels. It begins with one conscious interaction, in which we do not cause unnecessary harm to the other and, if possible, make a positive contribution to the lives of ourselves and others.
Sometimes it is even wiser to say nothing at all, as Buddha and Socrates teach us with these three questions before acting: Is it true? (without judgment) Is it helpful? (to you, the other person, the situation) Is it kind? (not necessarily praising, but with the right intention) If the answer is no, there may be no need to communicate.
Wondering if you can develop these skills and qualities? During the Mindfulness Deepening & Mindful Communicating (MVMC) training and education we actively work on this. Check out our mindfulness follow-up training or education here.
You are welcome to participate! For deepening your own life, as continuing education for trainers, and possibly to provide MVMC training yourself. Together we work towards a more peaceful world, which sometimes seems far away, but always begins in our near surroundings.
Zohair
